Gift giving anxiety is a real thing and it can be so terrible around holidays. We all have been faced with holidays where we just don’t know what to give and we feel completely torn down by the pressure of giving the best gift. I am here to tell you that you don’t have to give the all-time greatest gift to alleviate this anxiety. There are some tips for how to think through your gift, the reasons why you are giving it, and how it will be received. After all, we all know that “it is the thought that counts.”
Categories
- A gift you thought they wanted and they really, really, did like it.
- A gift you thought they wanted but they ended up not being really fond of it.
- A gift they thought they wanted and it turns out that they really did like it.
- A gift that they thought they wanted, but it ended up that they didn’t love it once they had it.
- A gift you thought that they needed, and they ended up really liking it.
- A gift you thought they needed, but they were not fond of it.
- A gift of something they mentioned they needed, and they really did.
- A gift they said they needed, but ended up not really liking it or using it.
- A funny gag gift.
- A gift you thought they wanted and they really, really, did like it.
This is the ultimate gold standard for gift giving. We can look through all of the internet for the one, perfect, item that just speaks its perfection for the person. We all want to give something that we know the other person will like, but most the time something doesn’t just appear out of thin air. Often, this can give us a lot of anxiety. However, this is not the only awesome gift giving situation that we have to adhere to.
Obviously, if you ever do find the perfect gift you know the other person will love- by all means- this is a green light and go with it.
A personal example of this category: Do you remember the bight color gel pens that came with black paper notebooks in the early 2000s? I was still young and these were just becoming popular. One of my teachers gave me a handful of gel pens and a small journal notebook for my birthday. I absolutely loved it. I still have it today almost two decades later. - A gift you thought they wanted but they ended up not being really fond of it.
On the opposite side of category 1, there is the opportunity the receiver will not like the gift. This gives us all anxiety. If you worry that the person will not like a gift you’ve picked out – I’d recommend giving them the gift receipt. But, here is the thing, just because someone did not like the gift – doesn’t mean its a bad gift. If you put forth the thought to find something they would like – it is still a good gift – even if it was not received as you planned. It truly is the thought that counts. Focusing on things that you have in common with the other person will lead you on the right path. I have never heard of someone getting upset because a surprise gift wasn’t the exact thing that the individual wanted. No one expects you to be a mind reader. If you do your best to find something you believe the other person will like – it is a good gift.
A personal example of this category: Years ago my dad left for a work trip, when he returned he brought back a small gift for each of us. He purchased a mini replica painting at a museum he had visited. I thought it was the most hideous thing I had ever seen, but I was still glad that he thought of me. He was only gone for a short while but this gesture meant that he thought about us while he was gone. It was nice to see tangible evidence of that. - A gift they thought they wanted and it turns out that they really did like it.
Sometimes we already know what the other person wants, and they really end up loving the item. Maybe they mentioned something in passing conversation months before, or maybe you specifically asked them what they wanted. This situation is always my favorite. You can never go wrong when you give them exactly what they wanted. I also love giving gift cards with a note as well. Maybe someone mentioned that they wanted craft supplies or a supply of roasted coffee grounds. You can give a gift card mentioning the thing you already know that they want so they can pick out things specifically.
A personal example of this category: I love various kinds of art. I paint with a variety of mediums and a friend once gave me a whole set of craft supplies. I probably had mentioned that I wanted more craft supplies in passing and did not remember it, but when my birthday rolled around – they had remembered. I thought it was extremely thoughtful. - A gift that they thought they wanted, but it ended up that they didn’t love it once they had it.
This is the exact same case as above, but the individual realizes that they did not really like the gift, after receiving it. Maybe it did not fit quite right or couldn’t be used perfectly the way they were thinking. This is still not a bad gift because the individual knows that they had asked for it or maybe alluded to it. You can’t go wrong when you give someone exactly what they are asking for. However, sometimes there are things that we realize after the fact – that it wasn’t as awesome as we initially thought. If there is any doubt that the other person may end up not loving the item- I would send the gift receipt with the gift.
A personal example of this category: When I was in middle school I fell in love with this summery linen shirt. I begged my mom for the shirt. She was a lot wiser then me and told me it was not a good purchase. Linen is difficult to take care of and it wrinkles easily. Sure enough, she got the shirt for me and I NEVER wore it. - A gift you thought that they needed, and they ended up really liking it.
Once we get into the area where we force our ideas, and necessities, on others – there may be a problem. I love getting people gifts that are usable, but I have learned that gifts should be more on the fun side, except maybe for family members. This category is when we basically tell someone that they need something- or need to do something- by giving them a gift. Even if the receiver absolutely loves, I would suggest proceeding with caution. If you want to get something that is usable – maybe go with a gift card so the receiver can pick specifics. Always include the gift receipt.
A personal example of this category: As a kid, I received a pocket knife. In the moment, I thought it was really, really, weird. Typically people don’t give knives out to girls. After a few days I had already used the knife multiple times. I ended up loving it so much that I have replaced it twice! - A gift you thought they needed, but they were not fond of it.
This is the same situation as above, except the receiver doesn’t like the gift. This is the ultimate worst situation and a bad gift. I suggest staying away from this box: where you think the person may need some gift – because of this situation. With this type of gift you are telling the other person that they need something in their life and they don’t like it or appreciate it. While no one will be mad at you for getting a gift, I think it is really bad form to push something on another person in this manner. If you have to give something under this category I would say: ALWAYS give gift receipts with the gift.
A personal example of this category: When I was in engineering, school my parents gave me a Microsoft surface with the intention that I could take digital notes. The thought was really nice, but I already knew my learning style. I have to have a kinesthetic sense when taking notes. Paper and pen allows me to have this sense, but digital would hinder it. The other issue was that It could not replace my laptop. I needed to code in one of my classes. The Surface was not strong enough to do so. It was a very expensive gift so I felt bad explaining how I could not take it, and they were really upset. However, I knew it was too expensive to be a dorm paperweight. I forced them to return it because I knew I would never bring it to school as it was just added weight. - A gift of something they mentioned they needed, and they really did.
This category is when the other person may have mentioned that they needed something, or maybe you asked what they would like- and they tell you. Then you go out and purchase the item, and they love it. You can never go wrong when purchasing something that someone specifically mentioned. I would still caution you by saying that I think gifts should be more on the fun side then the necessity side. However, when someone really wants something and you want to get a gift for them- go do it! I’d recommend attaching the gift receipt.
A personal example of this category: I purchased some nutritional supplements for a friend a few weeks ago. They mentioned the exact thing that they wanted a while ago and I remembered. Then they recalled it just a few weeks ago so I jumped on that bandwagon. It wasn’t my best gift I’ve ever given – but still appreciated. - A gift they said they needed, but ended up not really liking it or using it.
This is the same as above but the receiver realizes they didn’t really like the item after they get it. While this is still not a bad gift, You can never go wrong when purchasing something that someone specifically mentioned. I would say to proceed in this category with caution. To reiterate: I do think that gifts should stay on the more fun side because of this category (and category 6). And always send the gift receipts as well.
A personal example of this category: I requested a specific pair of tennis shoes a few years ago for my birthday. I put them on and went out, only to find out the shoes were not great and could potentially damage my feet. I did not stick with these shoes for very long. - A funny gag gift.
Gag gifts are awesome. Especially for group settings. They can also be fantastically cheap. I would recommend to go with something that is based on an inside joke or just is funny in general. If there is ever a question about someone feeling bad because of the gift- don’t go with it.
Gag gifts hit even better when they are immaculately wrapped.
Gifts should always be early or on time. If there is a chance that the gift will be late – we have a trick in our family. We will wrap up a picture of the item to be received and give the wrapped picture as a “present” day of.
Hopefully this helps you figure out how to decide what kind of gifts you would like to give!
